This dream got me thinking about some past dates/encounters I have had that rank right up at the top of the list of awesome times. These include:
- The man who will always be referred to as "Father Chlamydia", because he told me WHILE ON OUR (one and only) DATE that he had once contracted chlamydia from a former girlfriend. This was right after telling me he had fathered a child with an ex (although the ex had unfortunately had a miscarriage). In both instances, you really don't need to share this information right away! Sadly, the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and, you know what? Chlamydia clears up, so no residual effects! But thanks for sharing!
- The guy who asked me out for a Saturday night and told me he'd call me that day to confirm time, plans, etc. He NEVER called. Later, he called me back and tried to say he was picking someone up at the airport so he was busy ALL DAY LONG and couldn't call me. It is 1945, sir? Are there not cell phones or even PAY PHONES all around? And, really, the airport all day? The Bloomington airport? I call fraud on that one!
- The guy who I took to an Alpha Chi dance. He wanted to have sex afterward and when I said no, he tried to persuade me to "just let him put it in one time." Wow. Has that ever worked for you, sir? Because I'm skeptical of that approach!
- The short, portly, Asian cowboy who is now referred to as "The Short Asian Cowboy". I didn't go on a date with him, but met him while a friend and I were out at a country bar line dancing. He was a very good dancer and he and I did several swing dances, 2-steps, etc. I was confused because he kept leaving and coming back in, only to be wearing what I thought was a different t-shirt each time. We didn't talk much at the beginning because of all the dancing, but later in the evening (after we had "known" each other for maybe an hour or two), he told me that he was visiting Decatur for someone's wedding and that he was from Vermont. He said that he would "move to Decatur to be with (me)" if he didn't have so much family in Vermont. Um, what? Had we even exchanged names? No, we hadn't! I must have made quite the impression on him with my fancy footwork! Oh, and the different t-shirts? He kept going out to his truck and changing his shirt because he continuously was sweating through them, and he just happened to have his luggage in his truck. Convenient, and also hygienic!
- The guy that I met while visiting WIU with some sorority sisters. He and I hit it off right away and started dating after just knowing each other that one weekend. He declared his love to me a couple of weeks later, followed shortly by his admission that he had, in fact, cheated on me with another girl. When he came for a visit the next week, I ended that long distance relationship. That wasn't the last time I heard from him, though. He ended up getting arrested for something and going to jail for a short period of time. While in jail, he sent me at least one letter declaring his undying love for me. Please note that this letter was written in pencil, as I don't think pens are allowed in the joint!! Classy!
(Note: Even though we're all wearing red, this isn't a Valentine's Day picture but our 2007 family Christmas picture!)
2 comments:
Your uncle and I will never forget the "guy in the truck" who pulled in the driveway and couldn't quite put a sentence together. He had some sort of objectionable bumper sticker, like the peeing Calvin. I just remember both of us with our mouths open as you drove off with this cowboy. I can remember a few more, but why. You ended up with a good one, thank god.
I feel like this list could be an after school special for why good self-esteem is important or something.
Post a Comment