It Takes a Gallon

So here's the story from last week. This was my Thursday morning! And, let me add up front. These types of things seem to always be stories about me! It's just par for the course in my life! I gladly share, however, so that I might be able to bring entertainment to others!

This was last Thursday morning. Nick was working at the fire department. Austin and I always seem to run late when Nick has to work in the morning because he's not around to help us get ready to go. You'd think I would just get up earlier, but I just keep hitting that damned snooze!

Okay, so Thursday. I was rushing to get ready. I don't have a ton of work pants (or any kind of pants) that fit me all that well these days because I haven't purchased pants in a LONG time. I had already worn all my black pants that week and my other pants were dirty. I pulled out these pink capri pants that I used to wear. Now, they're about 1 size too small for my current bulk, but I thought maybe I could make them work. Also, Heartland was having a "Wear your Alumni Clothes Day," so I decided I could get away with the pink tight pants because I'd pair them with a black ISU t-shirt, which would disguise the belly overhang. Okay, so I'm wearing pink pants that are SO TIGHT, a black t-shirt, pink flip flops, and a ponytail. I got to Sherry's to drop Austin off for the day and saw Cecilia. She gave me this look that was part concern and part confusion. Later, she confessed that she was thinking, "Is Emily going to work today?" I said something to her about that being "Alumni Shirt Day" and she said she had forgotten. Off we went to work.

I had to stop and pick up a gallon of milk for our Slim Fast breakfasts, as it was my turn to get the milk. I ended up getting stuck behind a SLOW driver, so I was feeling even more late and flustered. Please keep in mind that during this whole time, my ever loving pink pants are DIGGING INTO MY STOMACH like no one's business, making me feel oh so pretty! I'm sure I was probably starting to sweat at this point, and you know my feelings about that.

Okay, so I get to work. I carry in my purse, lunch, and the gallon of milk. As I walk in, still mentally questioning my outfit choice, I pass by a coworker sitting at a desk who says, "It takes a whole gallon, huh?" or "Does it take a whole gallon?" or something just as witty. You know she was just trying to make conversation, but really? Really, Faye? Can we just not have a funny conversation about my gallon of milk? This comment was not required. I did not stop and look at her, thus making her feel like she had to come up with some sort of dairy-related joke! Anyway, it did NOT add anything to my morning!! I said something like, "Yeah...can't buy milk much smaller..." even though you TOTALLY CAN!! She said, "I know it!", apparently feeling my milk pain!

Milk incident behind me, I went about opening up my office and getting ready for the day. I noticed, however, that NO ONE ELSE was wearing any college-related garb! I felt totally out of place. I mean, The Big MC might be able to pull off wearing sweatpants, slouch socks, and t-shirts every day while the rest of us wear business casual clothes, but I just felt uncomfortable! I went to Cecilia's office and said, "No one else is wearing the alumni clothes! I might have to go change!" Being the awesome soulmate that she is, she said, "I might be able to go change..." I went back to my office.

At this point, I literally had tears coming out of my eyes because I'm a big emotional weenie. I started logging in on my computer when who should come in to comment on my outfit but Kath herself! She stuck her head in my office and said, "Well, that shirt is really appropriate for today...ha ha ha!" My shirt had the words "Kick me!" on the back of it, and we tend to feel pretty stressed out/yelled at during these last couple of weeks of enrollment! Ha ha. Good observation, Kath. I responded with some sort of nod or "mmmm" in her direction, but her comment did it. The second she left my office, I grabbed my keys and went home to change!!

Oh yeah. When I got back to work, I noticed an email from our HR lady saying, "Don't forget! Tomorrow is Alumni Shirt Day! Wear your Alumni apparel!"

I did not wear my alumni apparel on Friday. No thanks. We did get a great new motto out of this ordeal, though...

IT TAKES A GALLON!