What is on your shirt?

This is what I've heard multiple times today. Let me explain.

You see, I haven't put away all my clean laundry, which means I have a huge basket of super wrinkly clothes in my room. I usually don't care about wearing things that are wrinkled because I'm kind of a slob like that, I guess. Today, though, I went for the folded clothes and pulled out this blue short sleeved shirt. This will work, I think, because it's still hot out, it's clean, and it fits fine. I then realize that this is a MATERNITY shirt that I just haven't let go of. And yet I wear it anyway because, you know what? Sometimes I just want to wear a shirt that is a little more freaking forgiving so I don't spend all day feeling like I have to pull the shirt out of my back fat!

Back to the shirt. I put it on with some nice black goucho pants and sandals and I'm thinking, "Okay, not too bad! We'll just not say that it's a maternity shirt, because then I'll REALLY feel fat!" I even straightened my hair today so that I wasn't just wearing it pulled back. It's an attempt to look nice! I go to work, chat with my coworkers, and then Cecilia notices my back and says, "What's all over your shirt?"

It's WHITE PAINT!! Yes. I wore this shirt while painting something in my home and now I have dried up white paint all over the back of my left shoulder. That looks awesome! She thought it might have been deoderant (as did someone else in the lunch room), but thought that I surely wouldn't have smeared my deoderant all over my back like that!

I thought about going home to change my shirt. But I didn't. Because you know what? I don't want to drive home, thus losing my good parking space, and tear through the wrinkly, back-fat-adhering to shirts to try to find another one while, most likely, working up a sweat in the process! So I'm wearing a paint-covered shirt.

Hey, maybe I can convince people that it's a shirt I designed myself...